Bloody Hell - A day in London!

London ~ home to the queen, great tea, terrible coffee, train delays and more tourist sites than are humanly possible in one day! We rolled into London at 5:50am on the 4th and with no sleep and empty stomachs we were planning on doing one of the largest cities in the world in 13 hours before catching a train back to Glasgow. So we threw our bags in a locker at Euston station, got our tickets sorted for our final leg and set off to find her majesty. There wasn’t much of a crowd at 7am so we got some great shots of Buckingham Palace and of the royal gardens. We found a pub that was open for breakfast and after the second worst cup of coffee of my life (second only to the paste I had in Paris) we found the WWII Airmen Memorial to those who died during the Battle of Britain. This was an amazing moment for me as I was able to find my Great Uncle Jack’s name carved into the wall, as well as his squadron crest. It is an amazing monument complete with an exceptional bronze statue of five airmen running to their planes. After taking a few moments there we made our way back to the palace as we were lucky enough to be in London on one of the days that the changing of the guards occurs. However, there were a few more people gathered at the front gates for this but after fighting our way through the crowd we ended up with a pretty decent view. The highlight of the demonstration was a Chinese woman getting “escorted” off the road by a Bobby. She decided it was a good idea to stand in the middle of the road where the band and guards march in and out and where the cops where very clearly telling everyone not to stand. After being asked once nicely, she was hauled off kicking and screaming by a Bobby that looked like he could have played linebacker for the Steelers. That’s not even the best part. After being placed with the rest of the crowd she started making faces at the cop and then proceeded to push her way through the crowd so that she could get right up to the fence. Her maneuvering included pushing an elderly couple that looked to be in their seventies and pushing over a small girl who could not have been any older than 4. All of this with no apology, but instead a broken “mowve, excuse me, mowve.” Unreal. Following the display we saw Big Ben, Westminster Abby, London Bridge, Tower Bridge (which we climbed), London Tower and the giant Glass Egg. It is a gorgeous city although a little larger than my liking. After learning the underground system we did manage to cover a large portion of it in one day.
To keep up with my “story-a-day” principal, I would like to introduce Tom, a wee British tyke that looks to be about 4 or so. Tom is with his Mother, Father and brother on the London Underground headed for a family outing. Tom is a very hyperactive little guy and is quite literally bouncing off the chairs, walls and poles of this particular train car. His brother, a few years to his elder, is sitting quietly next to their mom and watching Tom’s athletic display. Their Mother has twice told Tom to cut it out and sit still. Tom’s father simply grabs Tom from time to time and plunks him on the opposing seat. This position holds for approximately 11 seconds until Tom is on loose once more. During one of his more rambunctious bursts of energy, Tom stops suddenly. His face drops as he lets out a long sigh and says “Ohhh No” in his very proper English accent. “There is something terribly the matter with me” he proclaims. To which his Father replies, “We are aware of that Tom, but you will have to be more specific.” Toms Mother is trying to fight back her laughter as she tries to find out what Tom is referring to. “I have left my Magic Button at Christopher’s house” he states, while hanging his head and shuffling his feet. “It is only a button” his brother pipes, as the concerned mother explains “Don’t worry, we have plenty of buttons at home.” “Not MAGIC ones” Tom says. “They are all magic, and when we get home I will let you pick your own magic one out of my sowing box, ok?” Mother asks. “Yes thank you!” exclaims Tom as he continues to use the train as his jungle gym. We got off at the next stop and didn’t stop laughing until we were well clear of the station! Bill Cosby was right, “Kids say the darnedest things!”

That was the positive story, now for the other one… After our day of touring we headed back to the train station, looking forward to getting back to Glasgow and being able to relax for a full day and a bit before having to get Lisa on a plane back to Canada. Upon walking into Euston station we noticed there were a few more people than in the morning and nobody seemed to be moving anywhere. It took one glance at the arrivals and departures screen to find my answer to this one. Across all 20 boards was bold red lettering that read CANCELLED next to every single train. This included the 19:20 to Glasgow. I talked with one of the Virgin service reps and he informed me that a light aircraft had crashed next to the main tracks just north of the station. The plane had hit electrical wires on its way down which were now lying on the tracks and thus, all trains in or out of Euston were cancelled. This was a slight dilemma for us as we had nowhere in the city to spend the night and we were working on a fairly tight time frame of getting Lisa to an airport in another country 32 hours later. This brings in our heroes of the story, the Hopkinson kids. The same crew that we had spent Christmas with 2 weeks earlier actually live in London and were now our only hope of not spending a ridiculous amount on a hotel in the downtown of one of the world’s most expensive cities. The only number I had was for Chris who was still at his parent’s house and not to be found in the city. However, he was able to put me in touch with both Lucy and Josie as well as attempted to find any other way for us to get back to Glasgow. With no luck in the form of alternative transportation, I had Lucy on the phone and before I even finished explaining that we were stuck in London she was offering to kick her sister of the other room so we had a place to stay. We opted for a temporary bed in the living room which proved to be one of the most comfortable sleeps since the luxury hotel on New Years. As luck would have it, we were much better off sipping hot Ribina and sharing stories with Josie, Lucy and Joe (Lucy’s significant other) than we ever would have been stuck on a train! (If your reading this we both can’t thank you guys enough!! When you make it to Canada there is always a room for you where I am.)

We got the train the next day with no further difficulties and made it back to Glasgow on the night of the 5th.

Pairs! ~ or as they say in french "Paris"

From the 1st through to the night of the 3rd we saw absolutely everything Paris had to offer. With the help of Greg Barker, a family friend who supplied us with a few hidden gems, and a free tour which covered all the big ticket items, we soaked it all in. We saw the Eiffel Tower obviously, and even waited in the two hour line up to get up the thing, the louver, Arc du Triumph, Notre Damn, Sacred Hearts Cathedral, the Latin District and the North end of the city towards Moulin Rouge. We strolled the streets eating crepes and bargaining with street merchants, listened to a harp player on the stairs of the Sacred Heart Cathedral, watched in amazement as figure skaters practiced on Rollerblades and Frisbee pros showed their skills on the lawns of the military museum. Although our hostel room was “compact” in size, the hostel did serve a fantastic breakfast in which I could also make a lunch to take with us.

Story time - The first morning we were there I thought it would be nice to take breakfast back to the room for Lisa who was still catching up on some sleep. So I loaded a tray full of croissants, baguettes, meats, cheese, cereals, milk, coffee and juice. The kitchen is located in the basement and we are staying on the first floor, putting two sets of stairs and two doors between myself with a loaded tray and my end destination... Can you see where this is going? It’s a great morning to be alive, I am traveling, the sun is shinning, breakfast looks great, so I am taking the stairs two at a time with a tune on my lips and jump in my step. Well it might have been that jump in my step or it might have been my over sized feet, but either way on the landing just below the first floor, my flip-flop caught the edge of the stair and ass over teakettle I went. Or in this case, ass of a very full tray of food and drink. Doing everything I could to not knock my teeth out on the stone steps, I let go of the tray which rotated once before coming down in a hurry directly in front of my face, and all over my arms. With one sleeve covered in orange juice and the other in coffee I started to use a whole different version of the French language. I was not a happy person. But none the less the stains came out of the sweatshirt and I was still able to go down and get another breakfast, although that was the last time I attempted breakfast in bed!

Of all the things we saw and did in Paris the most memorable was a naked couple in a box. Nope, no joking. As odd as it sounds, atop one of the museums along the river there was a large glass box. Inside the box was a bedroom completely set as if it where in your very own home. So natural looking in fact, that it included two completely naked people. One man who felt the need to stand against the glass and wave to people on the street below and his female companion who stayed more to the back and took photos. After about 10 minutes these two were accompanied by a few other people who climbed a staircase from the museum roof to the glass bedroom. We didn’t stick around to find out what happened next and we are still not sure exactly what was going on here but we presume it was some sort of art exhibit.

On the 3rd we were headed from Paris to London on the 11:30pm overnight bus due to arrive at 6:45am on the 4th. The reason I give this time so specifically is because it plays into the next 36 hours very carefully. We knew there was going to be a large lineup to check in for the bus so we went a little early. We were checking in around 9:25 and had planned to go and grab something to eat between check-in and departure. Turns out there was a bus leaving at 9:30 and the guy at the ticket booth didn’t even give us the option but instead told us that he had switched us and that we were leaving in 5 minutes from the other end of the bus terminal. Run. I grabbed the luggage, Lisa grabs the carry-ons and off we ran, or sprinted is more accurate. We made the bus, however we did not get anything to eat and were now both tired and hungry. As luck would have it the bus was delayed in departing and we sat in the terminal for nearly three quarters of an hour. Once we were on the road there was nothing but more problems. We made it to Calais, and had to go through UK customs to board the ferry. One of the passengers on our bus was “detained” by authorities which meant our entire bus was detained because he could have stashed something on the bus. So we waited another 35 minutes or so and once we were good to go we sat in the parking lot and watching the ferry leave without us. With all the delays so far, we had missed the ferry. Eventually we did cross the Channel and once we were back in the UK it was smooth sailing. Wait, it was smooth sailing right after we waited for our driver to fix the side door of the bus. The door was stuck open and even after he managed to get it shut, it would not stay shut and as soon as we started rolling forward the door would open again. With the help of some truckers, he tied it shut using a mash of string and wire. By the time we rolled into London, the bus that we were supposed to be on in the first place was parked just ahead of us.

Starting the New Year in France!

When we departed on the night of the 30th, Paris was the end destination for the morning of the 31st but we first had to travel North for a few hours to London, spend 90 minutes in London and then head south across the Channel. I was so excited to drive through the Chunnel I have heard so much about. I even talked it up to Lisa. Well when we got to Dover we ended up taking a ferry across the channel and subsequently Lisa now thinks I was trying to make a fool of her by getting her to believe there was such a thing called the Chunnel.

Upon arrival in Paris at 7am, we were lost, exhausted, starving and it was still dark outside. And so, we decided walking was a good idea. It wasn’t. We had no idea where this fancy hotel we booked was, so we took the metro into the heart of the city and loaded with a surplus of luggage and armed with a map, we began walking. I have to admit it was a very interesting experience to watch one of the worlds busiest cities slowly come to life. It is rare that I see sunrise and there was something about watching all these people open their shops, get to work and go about their morning routines that was chaotic yet peaceful. Probably peaceful because I didn’t have to take part. As day broke we worked our way down the Champs-Elysees. After asking at a partner hotel, we found out where we were headed and grabbed the metro into the business district of Paris (La Defense). Our hotel was a 5 star Renaissance Hotel that if we had not got a deal online, there was no way we could have afforded to stay there. To give you an idea, the price of our room, if we had walked in off the street and booked it, would have been 450 sterling pounds. At the current exchange rate, that is around $900 Canadian. To book the presidential suite would have been 5,000 pounds or $10,000 and we were outside of town!! There is a hotel in the heart of the city that is ranked as the most expensive in Europe and to stay there in the standard room is 10,000 pounds a night. To book the presidential suite is 52,000 pounds or $104,000 a night. The winner of the Tour du’ France is given three nights stay there as part of his prize. I am happy with the deal we got, that’s for sure!

Once we checked into our hotel Lisa crashed for a couple hours and I went wandering. With that night being New Years Eve the business district was pretty quite outside of the large amounts of military patrolling the area. However I did find the greatest statue I have ever seen. Just outside of the center square there is a giant thumb sticking out of the ground. Constructed with remarkable detail, at a height of nearly 5 stories, this is the ultimate thumbs up! Once we were ready for the night we headed into town and joined the couple hundred thousand people who had gathered on the Champs-Elysees. It was anarchy. People flooded the streets, everyone was drinking, dancing, laughing and just partying in general. When midnight hit the city went crazy, the Eiffel tower lit up in an explosion of sparkling lights and champagne corks flew everywhere. After a while we decided to head back to our hotel and I warned Lisa that the metro might be a little busy. That was a drastic understatement. I cannot find the words to describe the sea of people that quite honestly swept us away. We got to within a few feet from the metro entrance and still could not get in as we were pushed passed by surge after surge from the crowd. When Lisa and I finally fought our way out of the crowd we were nearly two blocks from our desired subway station. The fun and happy crowd had “Cinderella’ed” at midnight and was now an angry mob. Kids were firing roman candles and lobbing firecrackers into the crowd, the pushing and shoving was fierce and we were happy to get out of there when we did. We ended up walking a couple of blocks to find a metro station that was more reasonable and after it was all said and done it took us around 2.5 hours to make the 15 minute trip back to our hotel. All in all it was a fantastic experience that I look forward to never doing again. Next New Years I might be a hermit or host the party so I don’t have to try and go anywhere.

Cruisin' The Highway of Life -- And the Atlantic Ocean

We arrived in Portsmouth around 1.5 hours before we were scheduled to depart only to learn that our ship had been delayed by 4 hours due to rough sees off the coast of France. So we went to the local grocery store and bought some supplies for the trip while wasting as much time as possible. It didn’t occur to me at first but as I had a few hours to think about it I realized that this minor delay was going to be the crack in the dam that brought my plans for the entire rest of our trip to a spiraling demise. I will explain, on our mini-cruise to Bilbao, Spain we were only supposed to have 6 hours in Bilbao before hoping on the return trip. With the 4 hour delay in departure, the cruise line was not exactly going to reduce our time in Spain to 2 hours. So instead they scheduled our return for 4 hours later as well, thus delaying our arrival back in Portsmouth by those same 4 hours. The kicker was that we had a bus scheduled to take us from Portsmouth, England to Paris, France that was set to leave 55 minutes after our ship was originally supposed to be back in Portsmouth. With that bus being the last to leave on the evening of the 30th, our trip would have then been a day off from that point forward. So after stewing about this for a while we decided that there was nothing that could be done at the time and we were going to forget about it and enjoy our cruise.

And enjoy we did! This boat was fitted with 6 restaurants, 3 bars, 2 movie theaters, a theater stage, pool, gym and 8 floors to explore. Although the nights were a little rough on Lisa’s stomach, we both enjoyed relaxing and not have to lug our bags around for a few days. We played bingo and although Lisa came within one or two numbers in every game, we never won a dime. Played a little 3 card poker and lost whatever I had in my pockets, but made up for it on the roulette table. As I was explaining the various rules of all the other games to Lisa, I said “Roulette is two ridiculous to explain, just pick two numbers and I will throw these last two chips down.” Lisa – “8 and 14, yours and Colin’s hockey numbers.” No more bets, round and round the silver ball flies, where will it land, nobody knows… Except Lisa apparently, number 14! So we take our winnings, cash out and walk out. Over the 3 day cruise we took in the evening shows which included Grease, and the Best of Broadway musicals. They were very good and you can’t complain with anything free!

Bilbao was amazing – this incredible little Spanish city nestled right on the northern coast with a mixed backdrop of rolling green hills and rugged ocean side cliffs, and which is further divided by a river through town. We took in a walking tour of the city which highlighted the old town and the new town, Spain’s largest open market, the theater, and some of the cities remarkable history. We even had a Spanish coffee at a little Barista downtown. I can’t do the city justice so you will have to wait for the photos. But I would love to go back and it only heightened my desire to see more of Spain. But for now it was time to get back on board and head back to Portsmouth.

Now, I am sure you are wondering what happened with the timing of the ships return and us catching our bus to France. Well as it turns out, cruise ships run at slower speeds in the evening to make it more comfortable for their passengers. Unless of course, that cruise ship is 4 hours behind and is not concerned with the overnight comfort of its passengers. By the time we made it to Bilbao we had made up 3 hours because we had the wind at our backs and other than having a very rocky nights sleep I was feeling pretty pumped. It was not a night that Pops would have done well on and there were a few other green faced passengers the next day but for those of us with buses to catch, it was the best night we could have asked for. However, we lost another 40 minutes or so in Bilbao waiting for vehicles to board the ship and so on route back to Portsmouth had the wind coming at us and had 1 hour 40 minutes to make up. Things were not looking good, but like a Disney movie ending, the captain ran full steam through the night, the wind let up as we rounded the north coast France into the Channel and we floated into port 5 minutes ahead of schedule. “It always works out for the best.” We cruised through customs by avoiding the desks all together and just walked right out to the bus stop. We made such great time we had 35 minutes to spare, which was spent having a beer with an Englishman who was also waiting for the bus. He was plowed but seemed very interested in Canada – nice guy. Onward and upward - To Paris we go!

An English Christmas!

In a world dictated by how connected you are, National Express has stepped up their service by offering free wifi on all their East Coast Train services. So I am heading from Dundee down to Salisbury and have 8.5 hours to type my heart out and finally update this blog again. So where we did we leave off,

On the evening of the 23rd we departed Heather’s and Wales via train bound for our Christmas destination of central England. After having to switch trains and wait 2.5 hours in Cheltenham, we finally made it out to Worchester. Little background note: Being around 5000 km from home turf, Lisa and I were to spend Christmas with complete strangers. I had arranged for us to spend the holidays with Bryn and Felicity Hopkinson’s and their family of 5 children plus significant others and grandchildren. The connection – Felicity is my Grandmothers goddaughter and my Aunt Gail is Felicity’s daughters (Susan) godmother. Confused yet? That’s fine, so were we. Lisa had never met any of them and I had only met Bryn for about 30 minutes while up visiting my Aunt Gail a few months back. But none the less Gail vouched for them and said how they had become a second family to her over the years, so we were in for Christmas. As it turns out they were nothing short of incredible! We arrived in Worchester and were greeted by their youngest son Chris. Being only a few months younger than myself and a sport enthusiast we got along great! To Lisa’s enjoyment I am sure, we spent the next hour relating “Footy” to Hockey and sharing war stories about our lives in our respective sports. We spent the night at Bryn and Felicity’s incredible country home which could have been the set of a movie. The originally home was built in the early 1600’s and is perched on a hill with a backyard that opens over the valley below. Surrounded by farm land that has a mix of crop and sheep, the whole place was unreal. Not to mention the mint condition 60’s porch in the barn!

Christmas eve Lisa and I accompanied Chris and his girlfriend Emma into town as Chris had some last minute shopping to do and Lisa and I seized the opportunity to explore another town. We saw the Cathedral were I think I secured my place in Hell and took in the town’s main drag. I didn’t exactly burst into flames at the cathedral but I probably should have. What happened is that as Lisa and I were walking around looking at the architecture and reading up on how it had changed throughout the reformation. I was taking pictures of everything as I regularly do and so I had my camera out of its case and was holding it while the string was around my wrist. As I was looking up at the ceiling and some of the incredible stained glass I took a step back to more of the stained glass into the photo and knocked into this glass display case which held some old holy document (I am still not sure what). Well the display case was on wheels but I did not know that and as I knocked it I felt it moving which I thought was it tipping over. I spun around to catch it and in the process slammed my hand into the corner of the glass case. Consequently I dropped my camera and as I had it around my wrist it dropped about 4 inches and then swung around banked off the leg of this case. The bottom piece that holds the batteries in broke open and the batteries slide out and rolled across the floor, as this is all occurring I may have muttered a few words that I am sure would not have gone over well if the group of nuns setting up for Christmas Mass had overheard me. Lisa proceeded to hit me and ream me out for cursing in a church and nearly breaking the place. Again we felt it was a good time to get out of there. On a plus note, my Camera is still in working order but to take a photo I have to hold the batteries in place.

Following the cathedral we saw town, grabbed a coffee and headed back to join Bryn and Felicity for the annual Christmas Eve town gathering. Were better to hold a town gathering than one of the town pubs? There were about 20+ of the neighbours and friends from the area and we all sat around drinking bitter pints and eating glorious amounts of food. I decided to make it an all English experience and went with the lamb shanks and neeps. Delicious! It was at this pub that I found some of the best named beers I have ever seen. A patron has the option of a pint of “This,” a pint of “That,” or a pint of “The Other.” They were traditional English beers and a little stronger and more bitter than the lagers I am used to but with names like that how could I refuse! Following the pub Chris, Lisa and I drove down to Susy’s where we met the rest of the gang. Susy and Alex live just outside of Oxford with their two little girls in a house that is just as spectacular as Bryn and Felicity’s. Everyone became instant friends as Lucy and Josie took a quick liking to Lisa and she was more than grateful to have girls around again. Well as it turns out there is really only one thing to do in Central England on Christmas Eve when everyone is getting together and in the festive mood. You guessed it – off to the local pub we went! There we met up with Alex’s family who are a special breed, and the big event of the evening was when Lucy was washing her hands and dropped her diamond ring into the sink. Alex and I fished it out without much doing but it was entertainment for a few minutes that’s for sure.

Christmas day was a very full day of food, presents, food, drinks, food and some more food in the evening. I was spoiled with gifts from both home and abroad. Through my parents I had gifts reach me from all over Canada. – I will take an aside here to thank everyone because I have been pretty terrible at getting thank you notes off to anyone as of yet. I have not even thanked my own parents well enough yet and as bad as it is, didn’t acknowledge my older brothers gift until about two days ago. So thanks to all of you! I greatly appreciate the assistance with my travels and for thinking of me while I am wandering the globe. – I was also spoiled on a local note as Bryn and Felicity gave me a pair of Paul Smith dress socks (Greatly Needed!!), Josie and Lucy gave both Lisa and myself fancy body washes and Susy and Alex gave me a book on the abbreviated history of England. So I made out like a criminal! When I made the decision to not be home for the holidays I was a little concerned what Christmas was going to be like and if I was going to be in a hostel eating fast food or something microwaveable. Nick always tells me not to worry so much, because as it turned out I ate and lived like royalty for those few days. With a turkey dinner on both Christmas and Boxing day and left over turkey sandwiches as late night snacks, it made up for all the terrible meals on the road and for eating café food for the past 4 months. On Christmas day, those of us who were not cooking were shooed from the house so as to not disrupt the chef’s. So we went to the pub, home sweet pub.

Originally Lisa and I were scheduled to take off on Boxing day and spend the night in Portsmouth, on England’s south coast, but we were enjoying our time and the company so much that we switched our bus tickets to the 27th and cancelled out hotel for the night of the 26th. With a little sweet talking and a few white lies we avoided paying any cancellation fees for the hotel and only had to pay the difference in price for our bus tickets. So Boxing Day evening the kids left the parents at home and we all went to the pub only to find it was closed. There were varying degrees of shock amongst the crowd, none more astonished than Chris who could not quite understand how or a why a pub would lock its doors. So instead we watched the footy game and lounged at home. On the 27th I watch a pheasant hunt in full march, watched the replay of the Canada Junior hockey game from the night before (Congrats Boys), took a walk with the whole gang through the valley, went to the pub with the boys, and took a ride in an Aston Martin. Ohhhhhhh Baby! 0-60 in 4.2 seconds and cornered like a dream. Alex and I took a rip around the English country roads and I could have sworn we were in a Bond movie. Brilliant, simply Brilliant! If I ever have 100 and something thousand dollars to play with I am going to pick up one of those darlings. We said our goodbyes in the afternoon and made arrangements for me to see Chris, Lucy, and Josie in London in mid-January. With that we were on a bus headed for Portsmouth to catch our cruise ship to Spain!

From Dublin to Cardiff

I thought it best to blog these two destinations together as we only spent one day in each and they are relatively short.

Back in Dublin on the 21st, Lisa and I convinced Aussie Lisa to rearrange her flights and spend an extra day touring Dublin with us. After a trek to find our Hostel, it turns out we were upgraded from an eight person dorm to a four person private room which included a loft! However, the loft did not make up for the lack of hot water in the shower. I braved it out by taking an ice water shower while the girls found it more reasonable to shower in the sink. Water was hot but I’d imagine it wasn’t easy getting under the tap. After a very exhausting 3 days around southern Ireland we decided to take the night off by relaxing in our loft. The next day was an action packed speed tour of the sights and sounds of Dublin. We walked the downtown districts, saw Dublin Castle from the outside and viewed St Patrick’s Cathedral, who, by the way, was not actually a saint, nor was his name actually Patrick. And to top it all off, he never drank! The highlight of the day was by far the Guinness St. James Street Brewery. We took the tour, sampled pints, taste tested the beer prior to it being kegged and even learned the art of pouring the perfect pint of black gold. As it turns out neither of the Lisa’s are big beer drinkers either so I was the nominated finisher! The tour ends at the Guinness bar on top of the brewery were they sell two things; Guinness and Guinness Cold. By the end of the few hours we were there I was feeling fantastic! After nearly knocking a bucket of Guinness golf balls over in the gift shop, we felt it was time to move on.

And move on we did, next stop Cardiff, Wales! After arriving late on the 22nd, because we thought we were going to be smart and take the train instead of the bus from the airport, only to have the train be delayed by 40 minutes, we were treated with the most spectacular hotel I have ever stayed in. Being as it was so close to Christmas and there were not many people staying in the hotel, we were upgraded again but this time it had more than a loft. We were put up in the bridal suite which came with an attached living room, office, a bed that could have fit about 8 people, and a bathroom fitted with towel heaters and heated floors. Not to mention we had a fantastic view of the Castle and its grounds from each one of our 5 windows. Being as we were guests of the hotel we had access to the bar 24 hours a day so after a little night cap we called it a day. The following day we took in Cardiff Castle, which was a spectacular display of history, and traveled just out of town to spend the afternoon with my wonderful Great Aunt Heather. She is more than 60 years older than I am and has as much energy as a puppy. She ran around the house fixing us lunch, telling stories, and laughing with us. She even had Christmas presents waiting for us. Having only the afternoon was not enough time and I hope to get back and see her again before I have to head back across the pond.

FAN-FECKIN-TASTIC Shamrocker Adventure!

We decided the best way to see Ireland was with a tour and so Lisa and I went on the "Southern Rocker". Just for the record - FECK is an Irish term that is used as a substitute for other 4 letter words that may not be as socially acceptable. As Sean explained, "you can say Feck to your own mott'er about her own mott'er and n'one will bat an eye, but if ya use the other term, you'll have both yer eyes batted!"

After only a few hours of shuteye, we were up and out to join our Shamrocker tour of Southern Ireland! After meeting "Sean" the tour guide, "Dermit" the bus driver, the 9 Aussies and 1 Belgium guy that were to be our traveling cohorts, we were off. Sean turned out to be a hippie historian and was nothing short of brilliant the entire time, while Dermit proved to be a driving ace doing everything from driving up hillsides to avoid oncoming cars, backing down a cliffs edge to get us closer to a beach and taking a 90+ degree turn while at near top speeds. Out of the crew we were traveling with the Belgium guy was a little strange but seemed very nice and drank like a fish, while 3 of the Aussies were awesome and the other 6 were spoiled little brats who were on holidays paid by daddy. It certainly didn’t affect us as Team Canada (Lisa and myself) and the 3 Aussies with a maturity level greater than a 15 year old all took up residency together on the bus as well as in our first hostel. Before I get to the nights accommodation, I will go over what we did/saw in the first day on the road.

After leaving Dublin we drove directly to Lockes Whiskey Distillery the oldest whiskey distillery in the world. What better way to start your day then with a complementary double shot of single mart, 12 year old whiskey? How about with three, double shots of single malt, 12 year old whiskey. Lisa does not drink whiskey so I had hers and a wonderful friend which we met on the trip, (also named Lisa but from this point forward will be known as Aussie Lisa), also did not drink whiskey so I had that one as well. I was informed that it is unlucky to waste even a drop of Irish whiskey, and with all the traveling we had yet to do I felt obliged to make sure we did not bring on any unnecessary bad luck this trip. Now that I was feeling warm all over, back on the bus for a quick trip to the ruins of Clonmacnoise. Clonmacnoise was a cathedral in its day and is now a very elaborate set of ruins with an expansive cemetery and crypt surrounding it. Its significance is that it is one of the oldest cathedrals in Ireland and has some of the first ever stone Christian Crosses or High Crosses on its grounds. It also has an ancient stone circle next to it and the site is thought to have been used for religious ceremonies since between 3000 and 4000 BC. Turns out that archeology class did teach me something. The ruins themselves were spectacular as many of the doorways and walls still have a few original carvings from the middle ages. I took the opportunity of walking an old graveyard to scare the living daylights out of Lisa. Lisa was looking in one of the crypts which had a window at the far end. Through the window was a stone cross that stood around 3 meters high, and Lisa thought it would be a great picture to take as the windows edge provided a nice border around the cross. I seized the opportunity as I went around the back side of the building and popped up in the window as she was taking the picture. Absolute hilarity, you can’t buy that kind of entertainment!
From Clonmacnoise we drove along the shores of the River Shannon to the Castle of Burren. As the story goes the owner of this castle was a red haired woman and one of the first women to own a castle on the island of Ireland. The king got word of this and refused to let a woman to own such a magnificent castle and its surrounding land, so she struck a deal with the king and said she would marry one of his men, so that technically her husband would own the castle and yet she could stay in the home she loved. The king agreed and a knight was chosen to be her husband and the new owner of the castle. On their wedding night the red-haired woman invited her new husband up to the top of the castle walls so that he could look out over all the land he now owned. Story goes that the knight lost his balance and fell off the top of the wall and died. This story repeated itself three times and after her third husband fell to his death no knight would agree to marry her. The King was forced to let her keep her castle and land. Smart lady eh? Nope – Feckin Crazy Lady! Turns out that she had a lust for murder. A few years later she hosted a New Years party for the entire town, but instead for fireworks and Champagne she waited for the entire town to be inside the court yard of her castle and then locked the doors from the outside and burnt her own castle to the ground, with the entire town trapped inside! From that day forward no red-haired women are allowed in the county of Burren on New Years Eve or New Years Day.
Next on the list was an archeology site called Pol-na-Brone which was an Neolithic burial site that had also been tied to some Irish Folklore. However the weather turned on us and we didn’t stay long. We were suppose to head to the famous Cliffs of Mother but due to poor weather we decided to try it tomorrow and just to retire to the hostel for the night. That night we stayed in Doolin and enjoyed a few pints and some grub at one of the local pubs.

Do want to know the best way to wake up? Not at 6:35am to Kings of Leon’s “Sex is On Fire” at full blast, that’s for damn sure! This was courtesy of the 6 princesses on our tour. None the less, we were up and ready for another day. We headed down the coast for our second attempt at the famous Cliffs of Mother. However due to extreme fog you couldn’t even tell the cliffs where there. Instead I took a photo of me standing in front of a wall mural of the cliffs that was located in the gift shop. Looks spectacular! We continued our drive up the coast of Clare hearing some horrific and some hilarious Irish tales. Sean did a fantastic job of mixing the history of the island with the folklore and fairy tales. The trip up the coast also included many short stops for some amazing photography opportunities. As the day progressed the fog lifted and we were left with some of the incredible beauty of the Atlantic coast of Southern Ireland. I played on a beach and lost my soul for 40 years. Legend has it that on this particular beach anyone who lets the Atlantic waters cover the tops of their feet will loose a part of their soul for 40 years and can only reclaim it by returning in 40 years and again allowing the Atlantic waters to run over the tops of their feet again. So looks like I will be Ireland bound in 4 decades if anyone cares to join me. And I don’t want to hear that anyone already has plans! The rest of the day consisted of enjoying the Irish countryside, a ferry to Kerry across the river Shannon, a lunch stop in the town of Dingle – Home of “Fungi” the Dingle Dolphin – a trip around the Dingle Peninsula (where the beach was located), and a gorgeous drive through the Kerry Mountains. This day was filled with some of the most magnificent scenery I have ever had the privilege of seeing with my own two eyes. Everything so was lush and rugged, it really is the Emerald Isle. I would rank it right up there with the Rockies for how mesmerizing they are. Also, on another note, we were fortunate enough to see a family of dolphins playing in the swells off the coast. One of the Aussies we were traveling with informed us the waves were around 3 meters high and would make for some incredible surfing. The winds were so strong I don't know how anyone could stay on a board in that weather! We spent the night in Killarney and took in a truly one of a kind experience. Myself and the two Lisa’s, along with Sean, went to Pub Theater. To explain, Pub Theater is a one man show where “Pa” (actual name is Patrick, but has not been called that since before his mother died – note, his mother is still alive) acts out every character in a 1.5 hour production based on life in the pub. Pub Theater is actually held in pub, O’Connor’s to be exact, which is located above another pub. I still can’t figure out where is got its name. Pa was hilarious and the show was spectacular! Not only was the play good, but he included some poetry, a few songs, and drank 5 pints of Guinness and 4 shots of Irish Whiskey inside of that time frame. It’s no wonder he only does one show a night! Because there were so few of us, after the show we all sat around with Pa drinking, laughing, singing and playing songs. With Pa on the Bodhran (handheld drum played with a double ended drumstick), Sean playing guitar and Aussie Lisa playing piano, it was quite the show. If only Lisa had her Fiddle!! As I am not so musically inclined, I kept to the drinking part with a little singing here and there. At the end of the night Pa pulled me aside and told me he would give me advice I could use for the rest of my life. His advice “Kiss every girl you meet – but only kiss her hand.” I could have sworn I had heard that advice before, but whoever told it to me must have skipped the second line.
On our third and final day of this world wind tour of southern Ireland we learned more about the recent history of Ireland (from the famine through to the civil war) and traveled to the only part of the country that doesn't have Guinness coursing through its veins. The city of Cork is a rival of Dublin (where Guinness is brewed) and so the people there don’t drink it. (Or should I say don’t drink as much of it.) Instead they have an even darker stout called Murphy’s. It is not bad but it is not Guinness. After Cork we went to kiss the Blarney Stone and see Blarney Castle. As legend is told, those who kiss the Blarney Stone while hanging upside down from the castle wall will be rewarded with the gift of the gab, and apparently be able to BS their way into or out of any situation. I will let you know how it works when the time comes. The castle itself was very well intact and was a maze of stairwells and similar shaped rooms. I found a cave that once was a dungeon and I almost got stuck in it. Isn’t strange how it is so much easier to squeeze into small spaces than it is to squeeze out? However, after this tiny cave, we made our way to the largest series of caves in the UK and one of the largest in Europe. The Mitchelstown Caves span 3 km underground through a series of tunnels and lakes and were formed some 10 to 12 thousand years ago by a network of underground rivers and streams. I am happy to say that in order to test the acoustics of the caves we sang “Oh Canada” loud and proud! Our last stop on the tour was the Rock of Cashel fortress, which was both a monastery and a fortress and is the only one like it in the world. Goes to show you how tough those Irish really are, even their monks are kicking ass! On route back to Dublin we drove through the quaint town of Tipperary, home of Gaelic Football (kind of like Aussie Rules with an Irish twist) and finally by the Kildare stud farms which, throughout history has laid claim to some of the fastest horses in world.

Long one I know, but it was an action packed few days! We made some great friends and had a "Great Craich" along the way. Highly recommended tour to anyone who wants to experience the island of Ireland!